The silly season is a time for too much festive cheer, plum pudding and wearing tinsel and those crappy paper crowns from the Christmas crackers out in public.

If your Christmas is anything like mine, which is pretty much the same as everyday, just with more turkey and the family acting crazier than usual, then you might also have to consider picking up a gift for said family or friends that you’re spending the silly season with.

Forget the boring things, I’ve put together some cute ideas that will rock your socks off (literally).

So you need to ask yourself one question: have you been naughty or nice this year?

NICE

The Great Australian Songbook
It can’t get any more Australiana than that Aussie Jingle Bells song (you know, “Dashing through the bush in a rusty Holden ute”?), which is – thankfully – not on this collection of 40 iconic Aussie songs.
The Great Australian Songbook comes in two versions – the music-only version as a two-CD collection, and a 90-page hardback journal with two CDs, featuring the best of this century and last century in Oz music.
The cover art was created by the delightful Rolf Harris, modelled on Sidney Nolan’s painting of Ned Kelly.
It also has Gurrumul’s Aborginal lyrics embossed on the page in Braille and Kylie’s handwritten note about her love of her lalalala…. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head.
Where can I get ‘em: greataustraliansongbook.com

Record coasters
These could be a big hit (ha!) with the American diner-attending crowd who love listening to Frankie Valli while the waitresses in roller skates serve a good ol’ fashioned burger. Or if you just like music, these vinyl record coasters make tea time a lot more smashing!
Where can I get ‘em: beserkclothing.com

NAUGHTY

 

Blood splatter leggings
Zombies, Dexter worshippers and knife-wielding Alice Cooper fans (me included) will love these blood splatter tight-as-a-bug leggings, which are perfect for a 24-hour rampage through every rock venue. They’re tight, sexy and unique. Best of all, they’re Australian made and designed, so you’re keeping it true blue. Oh, and they also make blood splatter swimsuits/bodysuits. Mint.
Where can I get ‘em:
blackmilkclothing.com

Kinky fluffy handcuffs
Sorry, I couldn’t resist putting these in. Because they are made from “strong steel and are lockable” and are “covered in faux fur for comfort”. It’s the ultimate nice present for someone who’s been naughty. Or for someone who’s a fan of The Muppets.
Colours include baby pink, black, blue, white, and purple.
Where can I get ‘em: sirendoll.com.au

WTF?

Bridal outfit for pet bunny
If you’re totally stuck for ideas, how about you buy your best friend, significant other or family member a bridal dress for their pet rabbit?
Oh yes, thanks to the wonders of Etsy.com, someone has created an adorable but gag-worthy white and pink tulle ribbon fiasco for little Cuddles the bunny. It’s just want you’ve always wanted. Probably not a good idea to buy this for someone then serve rabbit stew, bunny owners are sensitive folk.
Where can I get ‘em:
Esty.com

KISS Beer Steins
If KISS wasn’t freaky enough with Gene’s multi-purpose tongue, you can know drink out of KISS-imprinted mugs! Each member of KISS has their own mug on the mug (ha!) and comes with a song title altered to coincide with beer. Magic.
Where can I get ‘em:
Esty.com

And I hear you asking dear reader, but what can I get you, my lovely, sweet Angela? Well, all I want for Christmas is you, of course!

Stay festive!

Mascara and Monsters is Angela Allan's blog covering music and mayhem. She's also the founder and editor of Soot Magazine.

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